Gaga and ‘Honey B’ in Telephone.

There had been a lot of speculation over Gaga’s upcoming video for her new single Telephone for many reasons. One, what crazy outfits will she be donning? Two, how much of a role will Beyonce play in it? Three, what kind of crazy antics will she be displaying? And four, when the hell will we get to see it, it felt like we had been waiting forever, but then on Friday it was unleashed and wow was it worth the wait! Now, normal music videos last 4 mins tops, but when has Lady Gaga ever done anything by half? This bad-boy lasts 9 minutes and 32 seconds. And I for one enjoyed every second of it.

After watching it for the first time I was speechless. I couldn’t quite believe what I had just witnessed and didn’t know where to begin with it. It was obvious that this video needed a blog, and boy was I excited to write it! It should have been written Friday/yesterday but due to certain ‘chemically inconvenienced’ circumstances it wasn’t and to be honest that's a whole other blog in itself!! So here I am now, on Sunday evening, wearing my snuggie and sipping on some pepsi to give you my lowdown on Gaga and Honey B’s video...

It opens with different shots of a prison whilst credits run introducing the stars, as if it were a movie (which it may as well be considering its length!) Then out comes Gaga strutting down in a black and white very low-cut dress displaying her saggy boobs. Delish. She is then stripped by the two prison guards and then someone says “I told you she didn’t have a dick!” ...That’s one thing I love about Gaga (not the fact she doesn’t have a dick..) but the fact she takes the mick out of herself and doesn’t seem to care what people think. *waves to Nat!!* You rock it babe! Next she struts out in some crazy sunglasses made out of cigarettes. Seriously how does she do it? She manages to out-weird herself each time! Crazy biatch. What next? Cans of coke being used as rollers in her hair? Yep, that happens too. (Which by the way I think is pure genius and I may even give it a try!) By now we are nearly 3 minutes into the video and she still hasn’t sung a single word, so cue the song “Hello hello baby you called I can’t hear a thing” she’s singing to Beyonce aka Honey B on the phone. She then busts out some moves, including one where she turns her hands into claws (I’ll be busting that one out on the dancefloor next week!) She then goes onto strut around in her underwear (she’s really out to prove she isn’t a he-she, ain’t she!) whilst still busting the moves, out comes the claw again!



Now it’s time for Beyonce to make an appearance (or should I say ‘Honey B’ as that’s what she’s known as in the video.) “You’ve been a very bad girl. A very, very bad, bad girl Gaga.” “Mhm Honey B!” and off they zoom in Beyonce’s ‘Pussy Wagon’. You literally cannot make this stuff up.

There are, of course some crazily wacky outfits (I mean its Lady Gaga, she’s not exactly going to be wearing jeggings now is she?!) but my favourite goes to Beyonce. I want her blue jacket with the gems on the shoulder pads etc along with the shoes which are also covered in gems. Lush. I’m also a big fan of the American flag outfits they wear. They are like a modern day version of Geri’s union jack dress! Also along with the crazy wardrobe choices there are also some cracking quotes in the video including “You know what they say, once you kill a cow, you’ve gotta make a burger.” And “Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broke. But you can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection.” And “I knew you’d take all my honey. You selfish mother *beeeeep*”

There is so much going on I’m finding it hard to fit it all in. But the basic idea is that Beyonce bails Gaga out of prison, they then go on to poison and kill lots of people and then go on the run in their Pussy Wagon. Genius! It's also really refreshing to see Beyonce going along with Gaga's crazy ways and I bet they had a lot of giggles making it!


So there we go, it is without a doubt the craziest thing I have ever seen and I quite frankly love it. Long live the Gaga and the Honey B. And I can’t wait for it to be continued... and just in case you haven’t seen it before watch the link below! Enjoy! I also actually HAVE to see her live and preferably with Jaz... I feel an ebay search coming on missus....!!




P.freaking.S. I cannot even begin to describe how hard it has been writing this blog. My brain aches. As Jaz and I would say "I have a serious case of CBA!" (I LOVE you C-face.) I'm off to sleep. I'll write my 'party weekend' blog tomorrow. If it is anything like my weekend it is going to be an ABSOLUTE cracker!

Adios Amigos xo xo