Fat

Yesterday was Tuesday, which can mean only one thing... I had a dirty, rotten, filthy hangover from Kukui which needed curing, prompto. That cure came in the form of Dominos (the pizza brand not the game made out of black bricks with polka dots on them.) And it was only bloody "Two for Tuesday" wasn't it. Result. They are possibly the most beautiful words ever to be spoken. I’d actually quite like to take this opportunity to personally thank Mr Dominos for inventing such a delight, and such a good offer.

Just picture this, there I was (still in pjs with barely a scrap of makeup upon my face), after a full day of feeling utterly rancid and contemplating never partying ever again, off I trotted to the Palace of Love to munch my jolly little way through slices of heaven with Kelly and Jaz. It was a beautiful moment, for all involved (apart from maybe the pizza slices which we happily devoured. Do they have feelings?)

A special mention goes out to the garlic and herd dip, which as Jaz said “needs its own paragraph.” However there’s only so much you can write about a dip really isn’t there. It’s nice. I like to dip margarita into it. It makes your breath stink. That is pretty much everything said.. does this qualify as a paragraph? I ruddy hope so.

So yes this blog has been short, but pretty straight to the point. I am fat. I love Dominos. The end.

Actually before I go, I have a funny story to tell you all from my day. At work an old man ran over his wife in the car park. Obviously this isn't a funny situation, but she luckily wasn't hurt and I (tried to, but failed) quietly chuckled to myself. The best part of the story is that the first thing she said after her dear husband knocked her down was "Where's my beret?!" Absolute. Babe. What an inspiration. God bless her, and him!

Ok that's it. Bye xo

Hello blog.

I’ve become the girl who says “I’m going to write another blog” yet never gets round to it. I don’t like this, hence why I’m here now, writing a blog. I want to be the girl who says “I’ve written a blog, go read it” again. I’m going to fix this. I’ve had several people ask where they (my blogs) have been. Char even asked if I’d (and I quote) “resigned.” This hit me hard. I have not and will not ever resign. Blogging is fun. But to create a good blog you need to have fun things to say. Recently I have lacked these, hence my little disappearing act. But fear not, I will try harder to be more interesting for your sakes! So anyway this blogs for Char, to (and I quote again) “make her life a little more enjoyable!” Such a jot babe. However, slight problem Char and everyone else reading, I’m feeling a little delicate. I am not going to lie to you, these words are not coming easily to me, so I apologise in advance for my shoddy work. However do not blame me, blame Kukui and their lethal Rum punch. (I swear to god that stuff will be the death of me.)

So, what’s new in Emmababes world? Well, umm not an awful lot. Wow I am so interessant. As you can tell from the opening paragraph, I’m still partying. I’m still suffering from rotten hangovers. I’m still being revisited by Ned now and then. I’m still only working part time. I’m still living at home. HOWEVER dun dun dunnnn, a change in my life, I now (well as of October) have to pay “rent”. Or at least that’s the title the rents have given it. It’s actually just them taking and then saving my money for me because I’m incapable of doing so myself. Nice of them, huh? Anyway that leads me on to, yes, you’ve guessed it; I’m still shopping. Quite a bit, but sadly not as much. I really miss my student overdraft. Those were good times. Anyway, I’m still celebrity gossip orientated. I’m still probably one of the first ones out of your friends to know juicy goss. I’m still massively in love with Dermot O’Leary. I’m still obsessed with all things X Factor. I still won’t have a bad word said about Cheryl. I still want to be Holly Willoughby. And I still over use the words “totes” “babe” and “fml”.

A few slight changes in my life are (as if the “rent” wasn’t enough…)
1. I want to go travelling. Yes you did read that right. I, Emma Jamieson, want to go travelling. If ever there were words you’d bet on me not saying (apart from I hate Cheryl Cole, obvs) those would be it. As you all know I’ve always been dead set against travelling, however I think I’d really benefit from it. Now I’m obvs not going to “travel, travel” I mean I’m not going to be picking bananas on my way to be able to buy a tent to sleep in but I want to see the world. Because of my “high maintenance” ways it’s going to cost quite a lot and to be honest I don’t want a full time job so, umm, slight problem.
2. It hasn’t happened yet but I think I’m going for a whole new look in the hair department. Stay tuned…
3. Err, I actually can’t think of a third thing that’s changed, but only writing two points seemed really pointless and very uninteresting. So I’m essentially just writing this to make you think that I had more going on. I don’t. I’m actually very boring. And now you know, so that’s just brilliant isn’t it. Fml!

Subject change. Yesterday was a lovely day. I worked, for 2 hours. So in all fairness that probably doesn’t qualify as “work” but nevertheless that was nice. I then went for lunch. Now, if there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I LOVE to lunch. Lunching is probs one of my favourite activities and especially with the certain lunchee I went with yesterday. The destination was Slug. Standard half price grub on a Monday, would be rude not to. Now, way back when, in the summer of 2008 I don’t think many Monday’s passed without myself and Jaz (the human, not my dog) going to Slug for a cheeky lunch. Afterwards we would nap. It was genuinely the perfect summer. Anyway, we worked out that we hadn’t been in over a year, and quite frankly the very thought of that made me sick. It was time to put it right. And put it right we did. It was an enjoyable experience for all involved. We caught up on the goss, and ate. What more could you want? … Hmm, Dermot O’Leary. Huff.

I’ve been tweeting a lot recently. The twitterbug is well and truely back. There have been several funny things which have occurred on there. One worth mentioning is Megan vs. Twitchange. Now for those of you who don’t use the micro-blogging site (err why? Get involved you weirdos) Twitchange is a charity which got all the famous celebrities on board, and asked us ordinary twitter users to bid so they would “tweet” us. The user who bids the most money gets a tweet from that celebrity. Simples. Now, I have always been an Eva Longoria lover, she’s the best Desperate Housewife in my eyes, however we had a falling out over this Twitchange malark. All she did was tweet and retweet anything anyone said that mentioned Twitchange. This was a lot and clogged up my page. So I did the unspeakable action of unfollowing her. Megan also felt my pain, did the same and we both publically vented. Twitchange saw Megan’s and replied to her in quite a rude manner. So I being the little drama queen that I am, got involved as well. It was hilarious. We were practically being bullied* by a charity. Priceless! I’d also like to mention Mahony’s tweets. These never fail to bring a smile to my face and for this I thank you! I've also been tweeting Dermot, who never replies. I laughed it off at first, but now its genuinely breaking my heart. He replies to silly little girls who tweet every known celeb on Twitter asking for "good luck" because she's starting college. Ohhh perlease, get a grip. I even tried the whole "its my birthday please say hi" and he still didn't reply. Cheers Derm.

FYI last week I wrote a feature on London Fashion Week for dv8 magazine, it’ll be in the new October issue. I think you should all grab a copy and appreciate my work. And for those of you who don’t live near, I’ll try and get a link so you can have a read and appreciate too!

And with that, I big you farewell Blogette’s, I’m off to watch the Inbetweeners. As ever, it’s been fun, well for me anyway. I hope you’ve all had a pleasurable experience and that you’ll fly with me again soon. Good day to you xo

*The term bullying may have been a slight exaggeration, ahem.

I...

Am stunning. Am loyal to those who deserve it. Can be a gobby drunk (either that or I'm overly friendly/passed out.) Am a party-loving creature. Overuse the phrase fml. Am ridiculously amazing at rapping. Should be a rudegirl. And often am when I have vino in my system. Talking of which, I am a vino-head most weekends/Monday/Thursday nights. Unless of course I'm pooping. Can honestly say I am in love with Dermot O'Leary and not be over exaggerating. Also have a major soft spot on Chace Crawford. Can be aswdga but also aswgl! Have it in me to be a right bitch. Often judge people wrongly when I first meet them. Refuse to eat fish and peas at all times. Vom. Would rather die than not be allowed to shop. Have an addiction to spending money like no other. Can make people laugh without intending to. Come out with dumb comments when I genuinely think I'm being clever. Love Cheryl and Victoria as if I know them. Strive on gossip. And know bits on a lot of you. Don't like it when I'm not in control of a situation. Do not like surprises. Can be a complete wind-up merchant. Don't make time for those who don't make time for me. Over analyse things. Talk a lot to anyone and everyone. Make friends easily and have quite a lot. However like most people can count the true ones on my hands. Get grumpy when I don't get my own way. Am spoilt but not overly. Have a tendancy to laugh at inappropriate times, ask Nat. Can be extremely impatient. Hate Judge Judy (it just came on the tv.) Don't take well to being told what to do. Appreciate the small things in life, as well as the big things. Effing love laughing. Want to be successful. Often lack motivation. Miss a few people at the moment. Love X Factor more than I love you. And lastly I. Must. Write. My. Blog. More. Frequently. Fml!