Punctuation written as words full stop

Yesterday in pure boredom I decided to take to my twitter page to say “Today I feel that punctuation should be written out as words comma I apostrophe m not sure why but I apostrophe m rolling with it full stop” …and so the fun began. Several people passed comments and so I thought hell why not go absolutely crazy and write a blog like it, so here I am. Lap up, enjoy and say goodbye to the punctuation, because from the next paragraph onwards there won’t be any! (To help you I shall put the punctuation in italics.)

So basically apart from writing out all punctuation as words I don apostrophe t have an awful lot to say in this blog full stop So prepare for some serious rambling on about punctuation until I get bored and give up full stop Before I start sounding like an English teacher let me quickly tell you about my day full stop Today has been comma at best comma average full stop Nothing terribly amazing has occurred comma but at the same time nothing terrible has either full stop And that is pretty much all I have to say on the matter so now on to the subject of punctuation full stop full stop full stop

I for one am a great lover of the correct use of punctuation and immaculate grammar full stop It really is not hard yet not many people possess such qualities these days comma which is a great shame full stop There is nothing worse for me than an intelligent point either being punctuated wrongly or grammatically incorrect full stop I guess you could call me the punctuation forward slash grammar police or Queen exclamation mark Although I apostrophe m not one to correct errors on facebook statuses comma they will be noted and corrected to myself in my little brain just for shiggles* I apostrophe m not overly proud of my consistant need to check punctuation and grammar as it can take up quite a bit of time comma but I can apostrophe t physically help it comma I did a bloody Journalism degree full freaking stop

Now it has often been said open bracket mainly by my friend Vicki comma when she used to read through my coursework for me close bracket that I am a comma enthusiast full stop I just bloody love them comma I whack them in anywhere and everywhere full stop Honestly for me the comma in the punctuation world is like the Christian Louboutin in the shoe world comma stylish comma elegant comma and desirable full stop I mean how can you fault the little full stop with a flick on the end question mark It is the cutest little thing and I personally feel that it doesn apostrophe t get the recognition that it deserves exclamation mark open bracket And yes I am being deadly serious comma I genuinely DO love commas exclamation mark Go back and read through previous blogs of mine and you will see how I over use the them exclamation mark close bracket

There is only so much you can really say on punctuation without sounding like an absolute fruit loop open bracket And I fear I may have already crossed that line after admitting my love for commas in the previous paragraph full stop close bracket And I apostrophe m not going to lie comma this whole writing the punctuation as words is ever so tedious and extremely long winded full stop And I quite frankly have better things to be doing with my time open brackets for example counting down the seconds until Britney apostrophe s new single is available to download on itunes close bracket so I will leave it here full stop

I thank you comma and goodnight colon close bracket which if you work it out is a smiley face full stop kiss kiss

* open brackets for those of you who don apostrophe t know comma shiggles is a short way of saying shits and giggles exclamation mark close bracket

Ps FYI it was approximately 10620 seconds until Britney aprostrophe s single was released at the time of publishing this blog full stop It will be considerably less now SQUEAL full stop

Dear 2011,

Dear 2011,

I realise this is a week late and for this I apologise, but it’s better late than never. Right?! Anyway, from you I would like…

To genuinely smile and laugh every day. The Christian Louboutin’s that Kylie wore at the X Factor. To wake up and be excited about what my day is going to involve. To be more pro-active. To achieve the things I am capable of. For a certain opportunity to materialise. A baby chicken that stays tiny, fluffy and cute. A baby goat that does the same thing. To make memories that I won’t forget. To get away from Bournemouth, preferably to London. To meet Dermot O’Leary. To see Britney again. To go shopping with Victoria Beckham. For the Spice Girls to reunite once more. For my hair to grow, quickly. To have a much healthier income than the one I am currently on. For someone to sponser me to go to New York and shop until my heart is content. To casually bump into Chace Crawford whilst doing so. (Make him naked and that would be a bonus.) For a long hot summer, preferably from my birthday till October. To have no more Neds. For my family and friends to be healthy. And to just be generally happy…. Please.

Kind regards,

Emma x

Jazpups

Having just sobbed my way through another viewing of Marley and Me (it gets me every time without fail. Marley looks way too much like Jaz for my liking.) I thought it was about high-time that I wrote a blog on my most favourite thing in the whole wide world. The one thing I'd chose over a brand spanking new pair of Christian Louboutins. The one thing who makes me smile no matter how bad the situ. The one thing who doesn't judge me... unless of course I'm hungover and only walk her around the block (in which case she gives me the "eye".) Step forward, my gorgeous Jazpups. ♥

Yes, she can be a tad on the boring side, I mean she never barks and even as a puppy she never chewed anything up. She trots off to bed, each night, at 10 without being told. She is scared of most things, fireworks, cats, water... the list could go on! She is as fickle as anything, if you have a treat you're her best friend but as soon as she's scoffed that and someone else comes along with another one, you are well and truly forgotten. I swear she thinks she's more of a person or a cat compared to a dog. She dribbles and slobbers a lot when around food, but I wouldn't have her any other way. To me she is absolutely perfect. And without a doubt is the bestest dog evs.

Without fail she will be waiting at the front door wagging her tail as you enter, always looking thrilled to see you. She doesn't ask for much, a cuddle a day and she's more than happy. And even though she isn't amused by it, she still lets me dress her up and, I guess essentially, make her look like an idiot! For example, last pancake day she was found in the kitchen, poised next to a frying pan with a pancake wearing a (sort of) chefs hat on. And don't let me forget to mention that she has even featured on This Morning for being the "canine version" of Holly Willougby. What an absolute superstar!

She may only be a dog but I like her more than I will ever like you. Fact! And if she could read she would defo love and appreciate this blog, a lot! She'd probs try to lick my feet or something disgusting, and then remember that I am not down with that stuff and give me her paw instead. BIG love for you, Jazpups.

"A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?"

2010 in a nutshell

My 2010...

(in no particular order)

Started in Liverpool. Ended in Bournemouth. Blogs. Twitter. X Factor. That Rihanna and Matt performance. Dermot O'Leary tweeting me. Perez Hilton tweeting me. Finished Uni. Graduated. The Only Way Is Essex. Vajazzle. The World Cup. Paul the Octopus. Paul the Octopus' death. The Pope visited. "The Pope-mobile." Cooked. Last ever Big Brother. Preston and Chantelle. The whole Ashley and Cheryl Saga. Cheryl getting malaria. Cheryl and Danni's weekly "dress off." Cheryl Cole in general. All the cheating footballers. "Speidi's" fake break up. Being followed by both of them. Heidi's surgery. The end of The Hills. The return of Kerry Katona. The ash cloud. Ned. Another Ned. Another Ned. And another. Chilliean miners. Robbie rejoining Take That. SATC 2. Toy Story 3. Raoul Maot. Worst Christmas ever. The identity of the Stig. Harry Potter. Dobby. Worked. Shopped. Snow. National Tv Awards. 21. Chanel. Breaking the Chanel. The return of the Chanel. Bruises. Haiti earthquake. Hi-tops. Bridesmaid. Hot chocolates. Dermot O'Leary calendar. The oldie. The return of the prince. Sparklers. Blonde. JLS condoms. JLS dolls. Pimms. Stun fun. Katie Waisel's prostitute nan. Gamu-Gate. Rum Punch. Chemically inconvenienced. "Stunning." Jelly with a fork. Stunstuns. The summer that didn't really ever happen. Helter Skelter. Alexander McQueen. Jazpups. Sleeping on the bathroom floor. Cringing. Going outside to lie on cold concrete. THAT bench. Sexy Sundays. The Election. Conservatives. David C. Late night beach walks. FML. FYL. FOL. FMAL. Fake tan. Nandos. Frank Le Fi-fi. The Royal Engagement and wedding announcement. One big Berry family. Lady Gaga sandwich. Gold schlaaaaag. Percy Pigs. Percy Pig cupcakes. Mango and Passionfruit Frescato. Starbucks with Tash. Hating Indesign. Student rioting. Gossip Girl. Desperate Housewives. Writing the diss. Valentines Day on Valentines Day. THAT poem. Snuggie. Cat-bin lady. Scratch card. Slip and Slide when meant to be revising. THAT phonecall. Happy Hippos.

.... I guess it wasn't so bad after all!

A big Thank You to everyone who made it what it was. ♥

ps I hope you all noticed my attempt to include "real news" along with all my crap!