When boredom strikes...

…You write a blog. About absolutely anything and EVERYTHING. Hello.

Recently whilst moping in my bed of flu I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. This might seem like a strange thing to say, but I don’t actually think that often. You know like, really, deeply think about something. Analyse it. Evaluate it. Yeah I’m normally too lazy for that kind of stuff, but alas the Lemsips I have been knocking back and the paracetamol and Soothers I have been popping have triggered my brain into thinking. What an absolute revelation!

For example earlier I was thinking about how bizarre babies are. (Not as controversial as it first may appear) Several of my friends have recently given birth, several are extremely close to popping and several have bumps which are expanding daily. I’ve always found pregnancy a very weird concept. Having a little human grow inside you, having it start off the size of a super teeny weeny thing (I’ve never been the greatest at science) and having it morph into a fully fledged baby, being able to feel it move, and sometimes hiccup. What the hell?! Now, having been sent pictures of a baby minutes old, I’m not going to lie, it creeped me out a little bit. To think that just 5 minutes before that picture was taken that baby was still inside. Inside and living in a womb, which is all it has even known, and then suddenly (or not so suddenly as the case may be. 57 hours in labour. I salute you) and it’s out there in the real world. A little breathing human being… I can’t and probably never will get my head around it. It’s incredible, fascinating, brilliant, mind-blogging and a little bit peculiar!

Another thing I have over-analysed is... crackers. *Hello massive subject change* They only really ever come out around the Christmas period. But what actually are they? A colourfully decorated cardboard tube with frilly bits on either-end, that contains a card strip which when ripped apart bangs, a paper hat (which is several sizes too big for the average sized human head) and a rubbish toy/gadget and a joke. I mean what the hell? Who or earth in their right mind invented that? Thomas J. Smith in 1847, that is who! This also leads me on to asking the question of who writes the poxy jokes? Possibly the worst jokes ever written. I mean seriously some of the trash you get in them, it wouldn’t surprise me if in the joke-writing office they have competitions to see who can write the un-funniest, most unoriginal and shittest joke possible.

There was another topic which I pondered for quite a while but it would appear that I have forgotten it. Can't have been that interesting then, never mind hey! I'm guessing you have all gathered from the utter randomness and poor writing style that, yes I am still flu-ridden. However today I ventured out of bed. Reb! Only to quickly wish that I was back in it! I have also drunk way too many Lemsips and feel a little drowsy. I don't suppose you can OD on flu medicines. Can you? Eeeek! Talking of drinks I was told today (actually about half an hour ago) about Pina Colada flavoured tea. As you well know I do not drink tea. Or coffee for that matter. However if its Pina Colada flavour I think I could be persuaded. And get this bitches, it doesn't even come in a tea bag (cue the "How do I open this Jaz?" moment. Whoops) Oh no, this bad lad comes in (and I quote) "like yellow crystallized powder stuff. 3 scoops in every 20mls or summink *shrugs*" Thanks Amy!

I wish I could play the piano.

Bye! xo