Thoughts of the day

Hello. Today whilst I was casually minding my own business at work (walking around in a day-dream counting down the hours until home-time) I was approached and asked what it was like in “my world”. This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked this, and several people have often commented on how they’d love to see inside my brain. Although Science is very advanced these days, I’m pretty certain we can’t swap brains for a day so I thought I’d write a blog about the kind of things I thought about yesterday. I’m going to write this in chronological order starting from waking up to going to bed. Enjoy…

5.30am? This is not an acceptable time to be waking up.

I can’t be bothered to move, maybe I should phone in sick.

Must. Not. Forget. Sunglasses. (Even if it’s raining)

Shall I have breakfast or have an extra five minutes in bed? Stupid question. Bed, obviously.

What colour lipgloss shall I wear and how shall I do my hair?

I bet Victoria Beckham doesn’t have to wake up this early.

I wish I was Victoria Beckham.

Actually no, I wish I was Victoria Beckham’s best friend.

OMG Victoria Beckham will be in London later. We're obviously going to bump into each other. I better take my Hermes as a conversation-starter.

ARGH BLASTED HAYFEVER. I have tears running down my cheeks. How horrific.

Oh pants I’m going to be late. Walk quicker.

I frickin' love my job.

I feel really happy about my life.

How much longer have I got left of this shift?

Why am I not Rihanna?

I want a puppy.

I wish I was back in bed.

What’s for dinner?

I miss living at home and having dinner cooked for me.

Oh it’s alright; I’m going out for dinner tonight.

And I’m not paying. BONUS!

I’ve got to work for 8 hours. I’ve been here 40 minutes so I’m 1/12^th of a way through my day. Brilliant.

Cocktails would make the time pass quicker.

Where’s the nearest bar?

Do I have any split ends? Let’s pick em.

Damn I wish Julie Andrews was my Nan.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe.

SAY MY NAME BABY. WOAH-UH-UH-UH-UH-OH-OH

I should probably stop dancing around. Management are looking at me weird. Meh!

I wonder what Rihanna is doing.

I need a holiday.

I miss Jazpups.

I wish I was dating Ryan Gosling.

Or Dermot O’Leary.

Or Ryan Reynolds.

Or Cristiano Ronaldo.

Or Chace Crawford.

Or Rihanna.

Or all of the above.

Is it lunch time yet?

The things I’d do for a Strawb Daq right now.

I wonder how many strangers I can creep out by smiling at them. Londoners don’t like smiling.

What colour shall I paint my nails?

The world would be a better place if I didn’t have to pay tax.

David Cameron is such a baffoon.

I’m really annoyed Ken Livingstone didn’t win London Mayor.

That blasted Bo-Jo.

I think it’s about time I reapplied my lipgloss.

Wow. I love her shoes. I wonder where they’re from. Adds to mental want list.

Must cram in as much food as is humanly possible within my half an hour break.

Pretend to read the “heavy news” stories in the Sun before over-analysing the Bizarre section.

I wish I had Gordon Smart's job.

I hope Britney, Rihanna, Victoria or Cheryl are featured in today’s column.

BOOM 2 out of 4. Not bad!

I NEED tickets to the Spice Girl Musical. GIRL POWER.

I love the colour orange. I wish I was more tanned.

If I were a fruit I’d be an orange for the colour, a strawberry for its taste and a pineapple for its appearance.

I could really do with a nap. I can’t stop yawning.

My life would be a lot more exciting if I knew Christian Grey.

He’d keep me awake.

Would I rather have the beak of a duck or the tail of a pig?

Omg one hour left one hour left, only one hour left.

Oioi cute guy 2 o’clock.

I wonder who A is?

WOOO HOME TIME. YEAH BOY.

Must refrain from spending all my money in Topshop. You have bills to pay now Emma.

Damn the real world sucks.

I wish I was 4 again.

I can’t believe I’ve got to go out tonight.

I want to jump straight into bed, get under the duvet and watch my Royal Wedding DVDs.

On second thoughts Carly is coming which will result in cocktails being involved. KEEN.

What am I going to wear?

I hope we don’t have to talk about football too much. Snorin’ell.

I bet David doesn’t talk to Victoria about football all the time.

If football comes up as a topic I’ll down my drink. Great plan, I’ll text Carly and tell her.

Oooh I wonder what I’ll eat. Chicken obviously.

Change of lipgloss colour.

Ugh they’re talking about football. Time to neck this glass of champs.

YES Carly. Tequila is a GREAT shout.

WWRRRAAAAYYYYYY TEEEQQQQUUUUIIIILLLLLAAAAAAA.

Gimme more cocktails. NOW.

Wooo I feel amazing.

I can’t believe Carly has met Victoria Beckham. That kinda means that I’ve met her too because I’ve met Carly.

OMG I’VE MET VICTORIA BECKHAM.

I haven’t actually.

But my friend has. 

These cocktails are absolutely delicious and I’m not even drunk, at all.

Hiccup.

Who the hell is he to decide that I need to drink water? EFF OFF.

I don’t feel so good.

Crap. I have work tomorrow.

Oh well, YOLO. Gimme another Daq.

What do you mean we’re going home? It’s only 1am, the night is still young. Where’s Kayleigh she’d stay out till 5am with me.

Oh wow I feel dizzy.

Urgh taking make-up off is such a chore.

Ahhh my bed is so comfy. It’s like heaven.

I hope when I wake up I’m Rihanna.

Fingers crossed.

Night world.

...Yep, that was pretty much everything that went through my brain yesterday. It was a good day, sadly I didn’t wake up as Rihanna though which was a great shame.

Bye xo