Scaredy Cat

I’m easily scared. Earlier today my friend Jamie scared me so much that I cried. Actual tears rolled down my chubby cheeks because he jumped out at me. I am pathetic. He however felt so bad that he took me out for a hot chocolate. Win! Over said drink we got talking about all the things that scare me and he was highly amused so I thought I’d share them with you all as well (even though I personally don’t find them funny)…

1. Spiders. My Dad always used to get angry at me when I’d scream/cry at the mere sight of one of the eight-legged-buggers but I am genuinely terrified of them. I’d get the usual “you’re a lot bigger than it is” “it’s probably more scared of you screaming than you are of it” but it wouldn’t make me feel any better, in fact it would just wind me up. The creepy things have EIGHT LEGS, there is absolutely NOTHING normal or OK with that. Thinking about the way they move makes me want to be sick. Disgusting. I’m also a very strong believer in that if you see one that you kill it, none of this setting it free stuff. Nope. Squish it or hoover it immediately before it has a chance to run away, meet a friend and multiply. Thankfully I haven’t come across many spiders in my new flat *touch wood* but when I did come across one I was thankfully with Jamie and he “dealt” with it whilst I ran away screaming and flapping my arms in the air. What a hero.

2. Being pushed onto an underground track. Since moving to London I’ve always been wary of the sacred yellow line and have made sure not to cross it when a train approaches. However a couple of months ago there was an incident which made the news where a man shoved a random lady onto the tracks and to my knowledge he didn’t even know her. Wtf? Thankfully the lady was helped up on to the platform before a train came.

3. Swings. I’m not sure whether I had a traumatic experience on a swing as a child that I can’t remember but I honestly can’t stand the things. I can only cope with swinging on them when my feet can still touch the floor, when they can’t is when I start to freak out. I mean seriously my stomach flips, I start sweating and my hands go clammy so that I’m unable to hold on to the chains. I then start to panic about how I’m going to fall off and die. Terrible.

4. Hospitals. I do not like hospitals one bit. I don’t like the smell. I don’t like the atmosphere. I don’t like all of the beeping and the numerous machines. I don’t like the beds. And I don’t like the memories. I’m anxious about the day I inevitably have to go to hospital. (Just a heads up to any Doctors or Nurses that come across me, I’d probably have me sedated, I’d be easier to cope with.)

5. Heights. Living on the 8^th floor is quite an adventure for someone who’s scared of heights (this relates to my issue with swings.) Basically I don’t like looking down on things. Although I’ve been up the Empire State Building I felt quite panicky at the top and was only able to look out, not down! Even though I’m petrified of heights whenever I go on an aeroplane I always want a window seat even though I’d never dream of looking out of it for longer than a few seconds. *shivers*

6. “The end” of Jazpups. This scares me the most out of everything because she is without a doubt the best thing in my life and subsequently life without her really isn’t worth thinking about.

Other things that also scare me are that I over analyse everything and make things seem worse than they actually are in my head. Not having enough money. Waking up and having someone I don’t know standing over my bed. Not achieving what I want to. Children. Feeling like I’ve wasted time. Being trapped on a tube. Dying alone. Things that fly, in particular butterflies and birds that have no sense of space and flap their wings in my face. Losing my favourite lipgloss. What people think of me. Fate. Frogs. People not coming to my funeral…

…Basically I’m pretty much scared of everything. Cool.