OH. MY. GOD.

21st AUGUST, 8.30pm - THE X FACTOR IS BACK.

Heeeeeeeeeelllllllllooooooooooo Dermy. Ufffft. ♥

I actually cannot wait. FML. This is way exciting isn't it. The Saturday nights in with my babe will be returning, lounging on the sofa wearing our slippers, copying Louis limericks/anything funny he says, laughing at the rubbish ones, crying at the good ones and then after going out and partying. Per-bloody-fect. I obvo had to write this cheeky little blog just because otherwise I would have self-combusted with pure excitement.

10 days and counting.... EEEKKK!!

This should have been written on Sunday evening

Since midnight (Saturday/Sunday) I have...

Partied. Que jumped, thanks to "Pete." Cheers buddy! Sipped on a strawberry daq. Spilt a strawberry daq. Been Naughty. Drunkenly updated my status. Danced. Teapotted. Did the 'Doofy dance.' Missed Nat. Rung Nat. She didn't answer. Left her a voicemail. Drunkenly ranted to Tom. Lost everyone. Made new friends. Realised I actually didn't like them. Ditched them, weirdos. Bumped into someone. Stayed with them when I shouldn't have. Had under 3 hours sleep. Over-slept. Tried to remember the saying to do with not regretting stuff. Thoguht it was a lot of crap. I regret a lot. Got ready in record time. Thrown up at the end of Mark and Luke's road. Looked like a genuwine dog, but still been absolutely stunning. Wanted to cry. Seriously thought FML. Recieved a hug off Scadding and felt better for all of about 10 seconds. Yawned over 65 times (I started counting but got bored.) Been told I didn't look/sound very well. Played up to it and said I had a cold. Poor little old me. Fallen up the stairs. Vommed. Fallen down the stairs. Laughed at Matt in his white hat. Had to write all of this down so I didn't forget it. Saw Dermot on Tv. Screamed. Fallen in love with him even more. Wondered how my life would be different if I was with him. Hated Dee Koppang. Wanted the X-Factor to be back. Missed Tom being on my lunch. Been a little bit sad. Sung along to Take That with Sophie and Matt. Vowed not to drink again for a long long time. (That went out the window last night, fml.) Wondered if I wished really hard I'd magically end up in my bed. Tried it. Failed. Danced and sung along to Chezza. Been laughed at by a customer because he saw me out and came in just to see how hanging I was. Apparently I didn't disappoint. Daydreamed. Looked in the mirror. Regretted it. Saw my burb and had a little catch up. Seen someone missing a finger. Had an old lady tell me how bad her hangover was, and how she was 76. She became my new inspiration in life. Stood in the sun in my own little world and was asked by someone if I was ok. Smiled and nodded instead of going into the gory details of how messy my life has recently become. Had to scan some fish which was covered in blood and still had eyeballs in. Felt my stomach churn. Been sick. Made it through the day (only just.) Had the longest, hottest, bubbly bath I've ever had in my life.  Seen Tom. Swung on a swing. Caused havoc. "Alreeeet mate, have a good night. I said ARE YOU ALREEEEEEET MATE? HAVE A GOOD NIGHT." Eaten a pack of Randoms. Laughed so hard I cried. Forgot I felt like utter poop. Sung along to California Girls and a bit of Jason Derulo. Missed Shelley. Realised we're defo destined for more than Bournemouth. Wanted it to be payday. Thought about wishing really hard again. Then remembered how I had tried it earlier about bed and failed. Tried anyway regardless. Failed again. Gone to bed. Appreciated it. Slept. And probs dreamt about Dermot.

Note: This was taken before I lost them, fml.

I don't love...

Being sad. Davina McCall. The smell of fish. Fish counters. Dead fish with their eyeballs still in that bog me out, FYI I don't eat fish so give that dirty look to someone who does. Fishing. Fish in general (the type under the sea not the Fish family, I love those babes.) When the X Factor isn't on the tv. JP Chenet WITHOUT lemo, vom. Bananas. The number 7. Robert Pattinson. Twilight. Heidi and Spencer from The Hills. Frowning. Missing people. Sales. Working in retail. When you can't sleep. Hiccups that hurt. Rude people. Unstunning people. People who don't know what FML mean. Backstabbers. The Saturdays. Wasps. Bees. Birds tweeting at 6am, eff off. Having a rubbish night out. Not booshing. Not hoisting. Drifting apart from people. Feeling like you don't know your friends anymore. Nandos at Castlepoint. iPhones. Fearne Cotton. Strictly Come Dancing. Coke from a bottle. Feeling sick. People with no fashion sense. When I want something but its sold out, fmaflyc. University. Monday mornings. Not being the center of attention. When I write what I think to be a really stunning status and noone likes it. Thinking about things too much. Hiccups that hurt. Not knowing the words to songs. Boring people. Not having any motivation. Not understanding things. Being poor. Being out of the loop with celebrity gossip. Being one of the last to know something. Hello magazine. The Guardian. The Financial Times. Hardcore news. Valentines Day the film. Flowers. Stitchers. Telling a joke and noone else finding it funny. When things don't go to plan. When you like a song, play it to people who don't approve and then a couple of weeks later they love it. People who are offended by the C word. Fake Uggs. Knees. "Bournemouth girls." Not partying. Having three double wardrobes all full up but still having nothing to wear. Repeating outfits. Going out and seeing someone in the same outfit as you. Tagging on Facebook, its made life so expensive. Wanting to hear from someone but not. Sly little status digs, if its about me, tag me. Stuck up people. Liars. Falling for peoples lies. The snow we get in Bournemouth, pathetic mushy rubbish. Peas. Chocolate ice-cream. Having to pay for petrol. Cyclists. Chavs. People who don't have a sense of humour. Feeling uncomfortable around people. Blueberries. Blackpool, shudder. SATC 2, really disappointing. Feeling disappointed. Bull shitters. Being let-down. Awkward phone calls. Awkward moments. Feeling awkward. Being ill. When my battery dies. When people sack you off for bf/gfs, not hearing from them for however long the relationship lasts and then when it goes kaput they come running back. Wanting things you can't have. Fake people. Katie Price. Dee Koppang. Slimey old men. Old people who moan about the youth of today. Feeling miserable. Feeling lonely. Not doing anything. Head-fucks. Knowing I'm wrong. Admitting I'm wrong. Forgetting things. Losing things. Thinking someone is something they're not.  Looking like a mug. Hayfever. People who don't appreciate things. People with no manners, its not hard to say please or thank you.
And lastly, I defo do not love the fact this blog post looks longer than yesterdays one on stuff that I love. FML. Oh well I'd hate it even more if I was Lindsay Lohan!

I love...

Laughing. Being happy. Dermot O'leary. Pausing the tv on Dermot's face and everyone getting annoyed at me. Topshop on Oxford Street. Topshop in general. Actually, shopping in general. Private jokes. Partying. JP Chenet WITH lemo. "Gold Scchhhlllaaag." Saying FML. Saying FMAL. Saying FYL. Saying FYAL... you get the idea. Pimms. Red grapes. Mango. The number 3. Having secrets. Chace Crawford. Gossip Girl. Desperate Housewives. Smiling. Catching up with friends you haven't spoken to in ages. My friends in general. Nandos, just not the one at Castlepoint! Bbm. Holly Willoughby. The X Factor. Cheryl Cole. Simon Cowell. Louis Walsh. Louis' Limericks. Nat's amazing impressions. Followed by my pathetic attempts. Volvic touch of Strawberry water. Scadding's hugs. Being stunning. My Stunstuns. Over using the word stunning. Over using the word babe. Having butterflies. Kurt Geigers. Katy Perry - California Girls. Rapping along with Tinie Tempah. Doing the Rudegirl dance "Up and out. Guns." Bella. The fact she’s missing two hub-caps but still looks stunning. Blogging. Legally Blonde the musical. Playing music really loud. Understanding jokes so people don't have to explain them to me. Giggling uncontrollably. Being naughty. Jazpups. Fake tan. Mandy's chicken cous-cous salad. Sexy Sunday lunches. Being the first to know gossip. Then telling everyone. Toy Story 1. Toy Story 2. Toy Story 3. Spanish Buzz. Marley and Me. Crying at soppy films. Not crying at soppy films when everyone else in the cinema is. Laughing because I'm obviously a cold-hearted slut. Booshing. Hoisting. Heat magazine. Perez Hilton. Updating my facebook status. Birthdays. M&S' Caterpillar cake. Percy Pigs. Doing the teapot. Hula-hooping. Gaga Sandwiching. High 5 Scuba dive. Britney Spears. Peter Andre. The Sound of Music. Mary Poppins. Anything with Julie Andrews in it. Starbucks. Stun fun. New York. SATC (1 not 2). Dubai. Diamonds. Louis Vuitton. Slobbing in Uggs and a hoody. The smell of petrol. Cute little baby ducks. Holidays. Having a full tank of petrol courtesy of mum and dad. Making snowmen. Feeling comfortable around people. Bang bang shoes. Reminiscing. Strawberries. The sunshine. The Sun newspaper. Celebrity gossip. Taking make-up off after a night out. Single Ladies song and video. Being hilarious. Going out for meals. Drunk texting. Cringing the next morning. Spooning. Lie ins. Long late phone calls. Talking to someone for hours when it only feels like ten minutes. Screaming. Howling along to songs in Bella.  Being excited. Knowing someone so well they know what you're thinking/can finish off your sentences. Working hard and achieving things. Being spoilt. Disgusting pictures, because they hold the funniest memories. Shopping in Liverpool. My Burbs.
And lastly, I absolutely bloody love, just being me (and thanking my lucky stars I'm not Lindsay Lohan!)

Today I have...

...Woken up really early considering I didn't need to. Eaten a bowl of yoghurt Special K. Laughed at the wrongens on Jeremy Kyle. Showered. Moisturised. Walked Jaz in the sunshine wearing sunnies. Laughed at her being scared of a fly. Cleaned the bathroom (Christ). Hung the washing out (Christ x 2). Hoovered (Christ x 3). Updated my facebook status. Text Shelley about 1000 times. Text Tom the same amount. Got excited about the anti-male sesh with the two C's! Aimed to change my attitude. Received a book "Happiness, thoughts and quotations for every day" from my Nan along with a newspaper clipping of a cartoon about handbags, what a Babe. Tried to fool myself into believing you're something you're not. Looked at my phone hoping to see that certain name, far too many times. Realised I need to snap out of it and deleted the number. Watched Loose Women whilst writing a blog. Laughed to myself over my dramatic-ness yesterday at work. Laughed again remembering Saturday night. Realised that I need a kick up the backside. Kicked myself up the backside. Sipped on ice-cold strawberry flavoured water - the obsession is back. Drunk all of the strawberry water. Walked to Waitrose to buy some more. Tanned and toned. Munched on some red grapes. Realised I was going to be on cigs at work tonight and felt a little bit sad. Then remember what beauty I had stuck up inside the cupboard (poster of Dermot). Rang Ashley for a catch up. Sneezed. Wanted to see Toy Story 3. Wanted to go on a massive shopping splurge. Looked at my bank balance and wept silently. Realised life isn't that bad, I mean, I could be Lindsay Lohan. Spoken to Tom on the phone after he had his tattoo. "2nd August 2k10, Stunstun". Listened to Drake, Jason Daaaaarrruuuuullllooooo and Katy Perry on repeat. Said FML way too many times as per. Caught up on Heatworld and watched a vid of Ed Westwick *swoon*. Abused bbm. Counted down the days until Jaz is back. Debated going to Kukui tonight. Been envious of peoples wardrobes. Wanted to be VB's BFF. Felt awkward. Gone to work. Gazed at Dermy ♥. Gossiped - probably about you. Smiled at strangers. Laughed at something that wasn't funny. Judged someone I didn't know. Thought about what it would be like to be a pineapple. Hoped the sun will be out tomorrow. Been naughty. Got excited about Wednesday. Wanted a stiff drink. Had a stiff drink. Been stunning in the pub with Tom and Shelley. Hidden behind a car-sun-protector-flap?! (the bit you pull down when its sunny, that also has a mirror on it for applying lipgloss, handy. I can't remember what its called). Had some Pimms. Hiccupped. Gone back to hating him for being an absolute C. Ranted to Chantelle, who kindly listened and agreed. Started to be sad but then remembered, once again that I am not Lindsay Lohan... and smiled. :)

Goodnight xo xo

Oh wait, P.S. decided against Kukui and settled for an early night...!!