X Factor Blog #1

So I haven’t blogged properly for a while, I’ve wanted to I just haven’t really had anything that interesting to say. That was until Saturday night. After watching two and a half hours of pure entertainment on my television it dawned on me that I actually love The X Factor more than I love a lot of things (obviously not shopping, that would be pushing it) and so I am taking it upon myself to blog about it every week. This will be exciting won’t it? (Cue little nods in agreement.) I’ll do a brief overview of the acts and sum it up, Emma style. (This will obviously involve a lot of innuendos about Dermot, not having a bad word to say about Cheryl and pointing out who had the best pair of shoes on the night, as well as umm, you know, talking about the acts and stuff.) So let’s get this things started. Welcome to my very first X Factor Blog *da daaaaaarrrr*

Saturday 9th October saw the very first live show of the X Factor hit our screens. The moment I had literally been waiting the last 9 months for had arrived. The adverts finished and the X flashed up. Dan laughed at me as I “sat to attention” The voice-over man bellowed “They auditioned in their thousands, to be the Next. Big. Thing. After a gruelling boot-camp and a dramatic judges houses, last week the final 12 were revealed. Tonight they sing live. And there’s a BIG twist. It’s time. To face. The music.” Cue the credits. My eyes were fixated on the screen, I didn’t want to blink. I was ready and waiting to see the Sex God that is Dermot O’Leary. I was praying he’d be wearing a tight grey suit (or even better, absolutely nothing.) Sadly, he wasn’t rocking either. This bummed me out a little, but I didn’t mind because he’d soon soften the blow of the random blue (blue? Err, why?) suit and red tie combo by saying “Your Saturday night starts here” proceeding to twirl and then giving a little point of his arm… but to my absolute horror he didn’t do that either. Seriously Derm, up your game babe. I decided not to get too wound up over Dermot’s suit and to concentrate on something even more important… Cheryl’s outfit. Now thanks to Twitter I had already been informed that she was looking divine (err, when does she not?) and she didn’t disappoint. Out she stepped in a one shouldered sleek black dress with cute little bow shoes, with her hair tied back. Now I’d never noticed it before but Nat pointed it out and she actually has very big ears… but she totes pulls them off too! Also everyone kept going on about how “orange” her tan was, I personally didn’t notice this, she’s going to seriously have to orange it up even more if she wants to be part of my tango club. Danni also looked very nice; her hair was also up, rocking some sexy red lipstick and wearing a pretty white lace number. Cute, but not as lush as Cheryl, as per. Simon and Louis wore suits, Simon’s was quite low cut. Standard. Anyway onto the “BIG twist” which wasn’t a surprise at all. I’d known about it for at least a week, it had been all over the papers and it wasn’t that exciting really. Every judge had a wildcard, and were able to invite an act from each of their categories back to join the live shows. So it was a big welcome back and hello to for Dannii and the boy’s it was Paije, for Cheryl and the girls, Treyc (and her massive behind, we’ll come onto THAT later…) Louis bought back Wagner for the over 28’s and Simon chose to bring back Diva Fever *squeal* for the groups. The theme for tonight’s show was number 1’s.

Onto the acts, and first to perform was a group for Simon, step forward FYD. I’m not sure what “FYD” stands for but Jaz came up with the novel idea of “Fuck Your Drama” a lovely little saying, which will be used quite frequently living in Bournemouth… anyway back to the singing. Out they popped and sang and danced along to “Billionaire.” I wasn’t overly fussed by them, they seemed quite forgettable, and let’s face it, they are no JLS. I liked the one with the floppy hair, and detested the one with the glasses. He was annoying and had too much camera time for my liking. The one with the mohawk was annoying as well; all in all I really didn’t care too much for them. They had a tough job opening the very first live show and they did ok, nothing special, apart from floppy hair, but actually looking back he couldn’t dance very well so even he wasn’t that good. Second to take to the stage was “painter/decorator Matt” (aka the one who wears the hat) who sang Kelly Rowland’s “When Love Takes Over.” I like him, he sang the song really well, and it wasn’t something you’d expect from him, showing utter versatility. He also seemed more confident, probs because he was wearing his trusty hat. Lovely. After some stupidly annoying poxy adverts it was back and the over 28’s John Adeleye’s turn to take to the stage. I like him purely for his name, I think it’s probably the best one the voice-over man has to say this year, but it doesn’t beat last year’s “Rachel Adedeji” That was a cracker, I don’t think we’ll ever top that one. Anyway, John sang Mariah Carey’s “One Sweet Day.” He sang it well, hit the notes, but over-all was just terribly boring…. Neeeext. Rebecca was up for Cheryl and the girls singing “Teardrops” by Womack & Womack. This was nice; she has a really good voice, but once again, borefest. Having said that I actually like Rebecca, mainly because she’s from Liverpool, I like Liverpool a lot. (I’ll be up soon Shelley!!x) She gave a strong performance but looked a little bit awkward throughout, trotting up and down the stage looking like she wasn’t really sure what she was doing, but it was the first night so I’ll let her off.

It was time for some more adverts, do they ever stop? Next to perform was Storm. I’m not going to beat it round the bush, I am not a Storm fan, and his performance was stupid. He sang “We Built This City On Rock On Roll” by Starship. He was basically looked like he was living out his childhood dream of rocking out, in his leather jacket and stupid red hair with his ridiculously over the top makeup. I wasn’t a fan. After Storm was another group, Belle Amie, the girl band that was made in boot-camp. They were singing B.o.B’s “Airplanes”. It was alright, bit stereotypical with the coloured girl rapping, but hey, never mind. They also looked like they had covered themselves in superglue and walked through Topshop. I liked the song, and I think I like them but I agree with Cheryl when she said “they need time.” Next up was Cher Lloyd, the one everyone’s talking about. I haven’t been a huge fan of her, I don’t think she comes across very well as a person but I’ve got to hand it to her, I really enjoyed her performance of “Just Be Good To Me”, apart from the part where she started rapping. That was cringe. Watching her live on stage really just hit home how much of a little Cheryl Cole she is. Mini-me much? It was all going well until she got cocky and arrogant when Dermot *swoon* asked her how she felt after that performance she replied “I feel wicked, I’ve proved myself now.” Psht, now no one likes a big head now Cher, sshhh. It was time for another ad break (by this point I was pulling my hair out, seriously how many ads do we need?!) after the poxy things the next act to perform was Diva Fever. Yay. I’ll have you know that these two are my “Jedward’s” for this year. Got bad words to say about them? Say it elsewhere because I don’t want to hear it. I love them. I’m such a fag hag. Admittedly their performance of “Sunny” wasn’t great but their dancing around in their pink and green lycra cycling shorts made up for t heir weak voices! What an entertaining pair, lots more of them please. Next up was Paije singing “Killing me softly” he walked out and looked like a fat Fresh Prince of Bel Air but his voice was amaze. Killed all the notes and absolutely rocked the stage, in that dodgy red puffa jacket thing. He was one of my favourites of the night without a doubt.

After the seventh (yes you read that right, SEVENTH) ad break and it was back to Cheryl and the girls and time for Katie ‘Weasel’ to sing. She sang Queen’s “We Are The Champions” once again, just like Cher she had a lot to prove, so probably shouldn’t have come out wearing a weird helmet type thing made out of different colour visors, a weird silver coat jobby and bright pink skinny jeans, but hey each to their own and all that… She sang ok, I mean she has a good voice I just don’t really like the sound of it. I totes agreed with Louis when he said that she’s “more style than substance.” One thing I did like was the colour of her lipstick, bright pink. Nice. Other than that I didn’t really like it at all, she also pretended to play the piano which was a bit lame and I didn’t really see the point in it. Next up was “Tesco Mary” singing “This Is A Man’s World” for Louis and the over’s. She absolutely smashed it. Amazing. I love her. Mary has soul and one hell of a voice. She was actually also really entertaining to watch, with her swaying, hand movements, grabbing of the mic and dramatic faces she liked to pull. Loved it and loved her. She is an utter diva. I smiled the whole time when everyone was cheering for ages for her at the end, and found it extremely cute when she was getting choked up because of it, she really deserved it. What a babe, just a shame about those ear-rings. The unlucky person to have to follow Mary’s amazing performance was another diva, Nicolo for Dannii and the boys. Now I’m a self-confessed Nicolo fan. I loved his weird jumpers, his cocky and arrogant ways and his funny hair. He sang Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” bizarre song choice but I enjoyed it nevertheless. The performance was interesting he was surrounded by girls with pink fans and was wearing red sunglasses, which were debateable! His hair was slicked right down and made it look very greasy, but his singing was alright, he could have definitely done with a better song though. He entertained me though so that’s the main thing. After even MORE adverts it was time for the last of the groups with One Erection Direction. Phwoar. Is it wrong to fancy 16/17 year olds, because I totes do. What major cuteys. I just wanna grabs their cheeks…. Make of this what you will. Ahem, anyway they sang Coldplays “Viva La Vida.” Just like Belle Amie they also looked like they’d walked through Topshop covered in superglue. They sang well apart from the “ooohh” bits, which sounded out of time and a bit out of tune, but to be honest I wasn’t concentrating on the singing… I don’t think many people were! The last of the overs was Wagner who sang “She Bangs She Bangs” mixed with “Love Shack” I don’t really know what to say apart from, his beard, his long hair, the burgundy velvet jacket, the huge big hoop earrings, it was all just one big cringe. I only liked him when he was at judge’s houses and before he sang he rabbited on about how he would remember this “in my dying day with every breath that I take” blah blah blah. Enough of him. The last of boys was my fav Aidan. He is a hottie, but he creeped me the hell out in his performance of “Mad World.” He was wearing a white shirt which looked like a straight jacket and he kept looking right into the camera in an eerie creepy way. It scared me a little bit, but I totes let it slip because he’s amaze, and quite the looker. I can’t wait to see what he does next week. When he was stood next to and chatting to Dermot was my favourite part of the whole show. Two hotties in one camera shot. Ruddy PERFECT. Last to sing was Treyc and her mahoosive arse. Seriously she should have sung “Baby got back”. Anyway other than that she sang superbly and gave a really strong performance, but it was overshadowed (quite literally) by her backside. To end the show Dermot dropped the bombshell that tomorrow night’s result show would see not one, but two *oh my god, falls to the floor in complete shock* acts being eliminated. Gosh the X Factor is good at their twists, aren’t they?! Not predictable at all.*rolls eyes*. And with that, all 16 acts had preformed and the first live show for 2010 was over, all two and a half hours of it. The phone lines were open for us to vote for our favourites, not that I bothered! I was quite upset that it had finished, but luckily I didn’t have to wait long until my next instalment, as it was back on the following night for the results.

Onto Sunday nights show, and dressed in my pjs I slobbed out on the sofa (no need to be either nervous or scared) with Jaz and Kelly munching our way through Magic Stars and drinking banging squash. This was beyond nice. Cue the voice-over man “Tonight it’s a double elimination. It’s time. To face. The music.” Roll the titles once more, and step forward Mr O’Leary (who sadly still wasn’t wearing grey, but still looking as delish as ever). Next it was time for good old Chez to make her appearance, and what an appearance it was. Her dress was L to the USH. It was made out of grey lace and as per she looked amaze. Sadly, the same thing couldn’t be said about Dannii. Her hair was a shambles. I don’t know if you remember those tacky hair pieces you had when you were about 6, the ones that came stuck onto a clip and had glitter pieces running through them? It looked like she had one of those clipped to her hair, not too good. Nice dress and shoes though. Once again, Louis and Simon wore suits… zzz! Like last year all the acts came together to perform a group song. I didn’t really like this part last year, and I didn’t really like it this year either. They were clearly miming “This Is The Rhythm Of The Night” and it wasn’t a great experience. The ending was the biggest cringe ever, all running into the middle, huddled together and smiling down the camera… CRANJ! Katie looked much nicer though, dressed in a white and black dress, it’s a shame Cher didn’t make an effort, in a baseball jacket. We came to the conclusion that they’re trying to make her look fatter and hiding her bones by covering her in baggy clothes. Subtle… NAAAAAAAT!

Now just like the Garlic and Herb dip on my Domino blog, the next performer is going to get his own paragraph. Usher. Oh. My. Oh. My. Ooohhhh. Mmmyyyy. Phwoar. I remember when he was on last year and I fell massively in love with him, don’t get me wrong I’ve always been a fan of his music but after seeing him perform I realised that he is actually something else. He has moves like I have never seen before. The way he thrusts, wiggles and jiggles his legs, shimmies across the floor, twirls and just generally oozes sex appeal… apart from the beard. Shame. He completely owned the stage even though he didn’t much actual singing, it was mainly backing track, but who gives a when he was moving the way he was.

They were spoiling us last night, with two performers; the next was last year’s winner Joe McElderry who was singing his new single “Ambitions.” I wasn’t a huge Joe fan last year, I was more team Olly but he’s alright, kinda cute in that gay-friend kind of way. His song’s ok too, quite a grower and he looked like he was having fun and I think it’s always nice to see “home-grown talent” back on the show so that was good. He was obviously working it hard what with all the fist punches in the air etc as after he’d finished he had a majorly sweaty face, attractive! Dermot gave him one hell of a hug after, I turned green a little bit. Oh what I’d do to be on the receiving end of one of those hugs/other things... anyway I digress...

Down to the acts and in the usual over dramatic X Factor way the lights were dimmed, the audience shut up, Dermot adopted a serious face and the heartbeat music was played as the acts who had received the most amount of votes were called out. The bottom three were Nicolo, Katie and FYD. Dermot announced that out of those the person who received the least amount of votes and who was being sent home immediately was Nicolo. Cue a sadface from me. The other two acts would have to sing it off in a head-to-head and then after the judges would decide who they want to save. FYD chose to sing Rihanna’s “Please Don’t Stop The Music” and were once again quite forgettable and Katie (who was thankfully dressed in a much nicer outfit this evening) sang a song I didn’t know (sorry!) Now although I’m not a fan of hers she did give the better performance. After both acts had sang it was over to the judges to decide their fate. Simon backed his own act and chose to save FYD. Cheryl did the same and chose to save her girl Katie. Predicatable. Dannii also chose to save Katie, so it was down to good old Louis Walsh to have the deciding vote. He could either take it to ‘deadlock’ and chose to save FYD which would then mean the act who received the least votes would be sent home, or he could vote to save Katie and she would be saved. He did the latter, so the try-too-hard blonde Gaga wannabe lives to see another week in the world of X Factor. And after that it was done, off FYD went with sadfaces, boohoo. Oh well, they weren’t that great anyway, I was more upset about Nicolo. Dermot closed the show with the usual “Thanks for watching. God Bless. Take care. Goodnight.” and that was it… until next week. What a weekend it had been, I have loved every minute. X Factor completes me.

So there we go, this is without a doubt the longest blog I have ever written, I doubt many of you will make it to the end! 3,265 words later and I will leave you with a picture of Cheryl eating popcorn after the show on Saturday. Amazeballs. xo